Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
