You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
my phone needs a breathalizer
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
