He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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