And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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