there was a trapeze. enough said
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
