bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
