I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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