so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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