my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
