You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
