pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I wish I only lived at night.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
