Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
