Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
