just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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