Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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