Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
People in love make me want to vomit
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Randomize
