Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize