We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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