I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
