dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
