Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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