U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
you had me at cake vodka
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
40s are totally the cure
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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