You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
