Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
