My nipple is on Facebook.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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