All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
