I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
