Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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