Don't you send me to vm
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
