I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
