I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
