Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
