GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
