C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
