I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
