It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
