Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
