So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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