i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
