i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
