My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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