I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
