Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
