you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
