You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
