btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
