hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize