hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm really into asian looking animals
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
time to smoke my breakfast
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
