I wish i was in the wii world.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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