Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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