Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
