I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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