Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
