i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize