hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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