I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
it's like heaven, but drunker
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
