Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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