sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
