I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
