haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
