Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Randomize
