maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
