do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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