My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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